Letters from Gilead

by Haze & Dacey

Songs composed by Kirsten Hazler, inspired by "The Handmaid's Tale", the book by Margaret Atwood and the MGM/Hulu series adaptation.

This is a work in progress. Click on song titles below for lyrics and rough recordings.
  • Story Lyrics My Name is June

    I am a mother and a daughter, a lover and a friend
    The world that I once knew is gone, impossible to comprehend
    Once I had a gentle man and he loved me to the moon
    They call me by another name
    But still, my name is June.

    Now I keep my head down, I don't look them in the eye
    Every dress I own is red and the driver is a spy
    Once I had a mother, a fighter through and through
    They call me by another name
    But the name she gave to me is June. It's June.
    All I have left is my name.

    How can you do this? How can you let this be?
    How can you do this? You're a woman just like me.
    My name is June. And all I have left is my name.

    You asked me if I'm happy. I told you what they made me say.
    The truth is: Death is preferable to what I'm living through today
    Once I had a little girl that I carried in my womb
    They call me by another name
    But now you know my name is June. It's June.
    And all I have left is my name.

    How can you do this? How can you let this be?
    I'm a woman, I am human, I'm not a commodity.
    How can you do this? How can you let this be?
    How can you do this? You're a woman just like me...

    ...a mother and a daughter, a lover and a friend
    The world I knew is upside down, impossible to comprehend
    My daughter is out there somewhere and I pray to see her soon
    She's the only reason I stay alive.

    How can you do this? How can you let this be?
    I am a woman I am not a commodity
    How can you do this? How can you let this be?
    How can you do this? You're a woman just like me

    My name is June.
    And all that I have left is my name.

  • Story Lyrics Blue

    Blue, blue
    I focus on the blue
    I float far away
    To survive another day
    I focus on the blue

    Blue like a summer sky
    Blue like the wings of a damselfly
    Stray cornflower in a field of rye
    Blue like the sea

    I keep my eyes focused on the ceiling
    Go blue to avoid all feeling
    I fly to another place
    To get through the ceremony
    This monthly rite of matrimony
    And if we pray and if we believe
    I will conceive and I'll have a baby

    So for me it's blue
    I focus on the blue
    I float far away
    To survive another day
    I focus on the blue

    Blue violets in spring
    The box that held my wedding ring
    Indigo of a bunting's wing
    Blue like the sea

    I keep my eyes focused on the ceiling
    Go blue to avoid all feeling
    I fly to another place
    To get through the ceremony
    This monthly rite of matrimony
    And if we pray and if we believe
    I will conceive and they'll take my baby

    So for me it's blue
    I focus on the blue
    I float far away
    To survive another day
    I focus on the blue

    Sunlight through blue bottle glass
    Forget-me-nots and blue-eyed grass
    The patterned hem of my daughter's dress
    Blue like the sea

    I keep my eyes focused on the ceiling
    Go blue to avoid all feeling
    I fly to a better place
    To get through the rape and plunder
    That tears my body and my soul asunder
    And if I pray and if I believe
    I'll be redeemed and Blue will save me

    So for me it's blue
    Wild innocent blue
    I drown in blue
    Blue like the sea

  • Story Lyrics Under His Eye

    I'm laying low, I'm laying low, I'm laying oh so low
    I'm laying low, I'm laying low, I'm laying oh so low

    Soon it will be my dying day
    The time will come for them to pay
    For all their crimes against humanity
    I've got nothing to lose and I'm not afraid
    But I'm biding my time until the moment is right, laying low
    I'm laying low, I'm laying low, I'm laying oh so low

    Under his eye I pretend to pray
    No one could doubt my piety
    I lower my head and I obey
    No one suspects that I could ever betray
    Because I'm laying low, I'm laying low, I'm laying oh so low
    I'm just biding my time until the moment is right, laying low
    I'm laying low

    I'm sorry sisters but there's no other way
    Collateral damage is a price we pay
    We need to burn it all down to build a better day
    We've got nothing to lose, we are the martyr maids
    No more laying low, no laying low, no more laying low
    No laying low, no laying low, no more laying low
    No more laying low

    This is my dying day
    I will not cower, I will not obey
    I will not run and I won't look away
    I've got nothing to lose and I'm not afraid (under his eye)

    This is your dying day (under his eye)
    The time has come for you to pay (under his eye)
    For all your crimes against humanity
    I've got a bomb up my sleeve and I'm not afraid (I'll lay you low)

    I'll lay you low (I'll lay you low)
    I'll lay you oh so low (I'll lay you low)
    I'll lay you six feet low
    I'm going down and you're going down with me

  • Story Lyrics Jezebel's

    There's a lawyer and an architect
    A banker and a teacher
    A painter and a riveter
    A scientist and a preacher
    We came from different walks of life
    We had our own ambitions
    But now we have to shed our pride
    Along with any inhibitions

    At Jezebel's
    We cater to their every whim
    At Jezebels (at Jezebel's)
    We've tasted every flavor of sin
    Here at Jezebel's (at Jezebel's) at Jezebel's
    Life ain't easy in this speakeasy

    Still it's better than a handmaid
    Always talking about the weather
    There's plenty of liquor at the bar
    To make the creeps look better
    There's plenty of fancy dresses to wear
    and plenty of pills to swallow
    Plenty of ways to help you pretend
    That your life's not completely hollow

    At Jezebel's (at Jezebel's)
    we cater to their every whim
    Here at Jezebel's (at Jezebel's)
    We've tasted every flavor of sin
    Here at Jezebel's (at Jezebel's) at Jezebel's
    We're keeping it sleazy in this speakeasy

    Sometimes when the guy's not so hard on the eyes
    You can pretend that you had a choice (here at Jezebel's)
    And when he gives you a ring or asks you to sing
    You can pretend that you have a voice (here at Jezebel's)
    But don't think too much 'cause it'll fuck you up
    You're never getting out alive (you're stuck at Jezebel's)
    So pop all the pills and drink all you can take
    'Cause it's the only escape, it's the only escape

    (When you're a Jezebel) at Jezebel's (at Jezebel's)
    You cater to their every whim
    You're a Jezebel (at Jezebel's)
    You cater to their every whim
    Here at Jezebel's (at Jezebel's) at Jezebel's
    You're keeping it sleazy (in this speakeasy)
    You're keeping it sleazy (in this speakeasy)
    You're keeping it sleazy in this speakeasy

  • Story Lyrics Sliver of Joy

    I tiptoe down the hallway
    I pussyfoot down the stairs
    I sneak across the backyard
    Hoping no one's there to see me
    On my way to take my sliver of joy
    On my way to take my sliver of joy
    My sliver of joy

    The Commander's home is a nightmare
    The Commander's wife is a shrew
    But the end of the day holds a sweetness
    If I can make it up your room to see you
    You, you my sliver of joy
    You, my sliver of joy
    My sliver of joy

    I don't know if it's true love
    Or just a way to pass the the time
    But here I am risking everything
    For a few hours of sublime and beautiful you
    You, you my sliver of joy
    You, my sliver of joy
    My sliver of joy

    I don't know if it's true love
    Or just some kind of escape
    But if they ever took you away
    My heart would surely break to lose you
    You, you my sliver of joy
    You, my sliver of joy

    I found out yesterday
    The man of mine that they took away
    Is still alive, and he's working from the other side to find me
    And if I ever see him again I will belong to him
    But here and now, despite my vow it's you
    'Cause you are my only sliver of joy
    You are my only sliver of joy

    So I tiptoe down the hallway
    I pussyfoot down the stairs
    I sneak across the backyard
    Hoping no one's there to see me
    On my way to take my sliver of joy
    On my way to take my sliver of joy
    You, you're my sliver of joy
    You're my sliver of joy.

  • Story Lyrics Oh Canada

    RADIO DJ (spoken):
    ...Radio Free America, broadcasting from somewhere in the Great White North... Now a tune to remind everyone who's listening, American patriot or Gilead traitor, we are still here. Stars and Stripes forever, baby.

    JUNE:
    Oh Canada, I heard your voice on the radio
    Saying you're still there with open arms
    Oh Canada, I'm on my way

    Over the border and through the woods
    Your voice gave me solace and a little hope
    Oh Canada, I'm on my way

    Oh Canada, your voice on the car radio
    The world outside was covered in snow
    I had a getaway car but I couldn't go
    Oh Canada, I could not go

    Oh Canada, your voice stuck in my head
    I'll either make it there or I'll end up dead
    I had to postpone freedom for another day
    But oh Canada, I'm on my way

    MOIRA:
    Oh Canada, you can't imagine what I've seen
    You can't imagine what they've done to me
    Oh Canada, please take me in

    Oh Canada, are you the land of milk and honey?
    Where I can read a book and spend my own money?
    Oh Canada, you took me in

    Oh Canada, a bowl of cereal can make me cry
    Blessed be the Froot Loops, under his eye
    No use asking the reasons why
    I'm still alive and she had to die
    I made it to the Land of Canaan
    Oh Canada, can I begin again?

    LUKE:
    Oh Canada, a man can break or a man can bend
    Oh Canada, you took me in
    Oh Canada, a man can break or a man can bend
    Oh Canada, can you help me mend?
    Oh Canada, a man can break or a man can bend
    Oh Canada, I'm a broken man

    Oh Canada, you've done so much but it's not enough
    Diplomacy can only go so far
    Its time to raise an army, start a righteous war
    For my wife and child and many more
    So many more, so many more
    They're trapped on the other side
    Oh Canada, it's a genocide
    Oh Canada, it's time to rise

The Beaverdam Sessions

by Haze & Dacey

Released 2016
HazyShade Productions
Released 2016
HazyShade Productions
Homegrown organic music with lilting melodies, tight harmonies, and compelling rhythms that make toes tap and bodies sway.
  • 04:47 Download Lyrics Corner of the Garden

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    Mama’s been gone for a week or so

    I hope she comes home soon

    The girls come in and they treat me good

    But I hope she comes home soon

    Because my body’s aching and my body’s tired

    Although the sun caresses my back

    I like the gritty earth up against my skin

    In the corner of the garden

     

    Come on home mama, please come home

    I’m hanging by a thread and I don’t have long

    The spirit is willing but the body’s almost gone

    Come on home mama, hurry home

    I’m hanging by a thread and I don’t have long

    I’m waiting for you so I can say my last goodbye

    Before returning to the Garden

     

    My mama’s voice is on the end of the line

    From four thousand miles away

    I held on as long as I could

    but I don’t have another day

     

    It’s been a sweet life, it was a gift bestowed

    But the time has come for me to lay down my load

    The price of love is your heart cracked open wide

    But have faith now, mama, that the spirit abides

    And I’ll find you on the other side

    And in the meantime you know where to find me…

    In the corner of the garden

     

    A year has come and a year has gone

    His spirit breathes as I sing his song

    The corn grows high and vine tendrils long

    In his corner of the garden.

     

    It was a sweet life, it was a gift bestowed

    But the time had come for him to lay down his load

    The price of love is my heart cracked open wide

    Oh but I’ll try to have faith that the spirit abides

    And I’ll find him on the other side

    And in the meantime he knows where to find me…

    In his corner of the garden

  • 03:14 Lyrics Sweeter Than a Margarita

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    Well I was drunk on margaritas and feeling fine

    Your eyes were sparkling as you threw me a line

    What was this impulsive girl supposed to do?

    I leaned across the table and I kissed you

     

    Your lips were sweeter than a margarita

    So sweet I didn't even mind the cigarettes

    Your lips were sweeter than a margarita

     

    Well you came to my door carrying flowers in your hands

    I thought this heart was getting another chance

    You know this poor heart has been much darker than blue

    But something brightened when I kissed you

     

    Your lips were sweeter than a margarita

    So sweet I almost didn’t mind your politics

    Your lips were sweeter than a margarita

     

    Eleven days we stoked the fire

    Then it all came crashing down like a funeral pyre

    You might say this wounded heart is bound to misunderstand

    I’ll say I wasted my time on yet another man

     

    Oh but those kisses…

    mmm-mmm-mmm….

    So sweet I don't even mind a few regrets

    Your lips were sweeter than a margarita

    and tangy too

    salty sweet and tangy too

    salty sweet and tangy too

  • 03:30 Lyrics Next Train

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    I want more but you want less

    I try to keep silent but then I confess

    And now I’ve said too much and it’s a big huge mess

    I shoulda just written it down

    How you want less and I want more

    I know I oughta walk right through that door

    But now our clothes are strewn on your living room floor

    We’ve gone and done it again

     

    ‘Cause I’m a girl with a foolish heart

    I keep trying to make a brand new start

    But every time I turn around we’re just falling apart again

    I feel like a fool for giving my heart to you

     

    ‘Cause I want more and you want less

    The situation’s making me so stressed out

    But I let you help me out of my Sunday dress

    Now what will it be in the morning?

    I feel like a fool for letting you use me baby

    I tried to love you baby but you just keep bringing me down

     

    I feel like a fool now baby for letting you use me baby

    I tried to love you baby but you just keep breaking my heart

     

    I’m restless and dissatisfied

    I feel a little sick inside

    And you’re just stuck in your foolish pride

    You know I’ve given you the benefit of every doubt

    I’ve turned myself upside down and inside out

    But all this time it seems you never knew what love was about

    No

     

    It’s time to be on my way

    I’ve said all there is to say

    And I won’t wait another single day

    because I’m tired of waiting around

    I’m tired of waiting baby

    I feel unappreciated

    And that’s why I’m leaving baby

    Yeah I’m leaving on the next train

    I’m leaving on the next train, oh boy

    You’re gonna miss me

  • 02:39 Lyrics Lately

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    Lately it seems I'm a little bit crazy and running around a bit

    too much late night and dancing

    too much flirting in the bar rooms

    but lately I'd have to say I'm finally free

    and this is where I wanna be

     

    Sometimes it's hard to discover that it's high time to finally leave your lover

    'cause you want him, and thought you'd always need him

    and you love him; he's been such a good friend

    but sometimes you realize that you have to leave

    'cause freedom's what you really need

     

    I've loved you for so long

    but always it seemed just a little bit wrong

    or at least just not quite right

    Now we're headed for some long and lonely nights

    And I wish that I could stay

    And I'm sorry things didn't work out that way

    but you have to let me go because     

     

    These days clarity and motion are the new phase dominating my emotions

    and the Tensas River keeps on flowing

    and the Mississippi Kites are soaring

    in the blue sky, inviting me to fly away…

    You know that I could never stay

    You know that I could never stay

    Never never never stay

  • 03:09 Lyrics Guilty

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    Well I’m guilty, so guilty

    I’m guilty as sin, you don’t know where I’ve been but I’m guilty

     

    Judge and jury in my head

    Reached a verdict and they said

    That I’d be better, better off dead

     

    ‘Cause I’m guilty…

     

    You probably never think of me

    But you’re always on my mind

    I kept a list of the things I shouldn’t have said

    And all the ways I treated you unkind

     

    See I’m guilty

     

    My doctor says I need to let it go

    And then he gives it all a positive spin

    But he doesn’t know how deep the evil goes

    And how it festers under my skin

    There’s blood on my hands, a noose around my neck

    Well maybe Jesus died for my sins but

    I have not forgiven myself yet

     

    ‘Cause I’m guilty, so guilty

    I'm guilty as sin, you don’t know where I’ve been

    I'm guilty as sin, I can’t say where I’ve been but I’m guilty

  • 03:53 Lyrics Singing for a Dollar

    © Kirsten Hazler - all rights reserved

     

    There’s an old black man on the corner

    singing for a dollar or a dime

    You might think he’s crazy

    You might think he’s lazy

    You say he oughta get up off the street

     

    Well maybe he just wants to be happy

    maybe he just want to be free to sing

    And maybe singing on this corner

    is exactly where he's meant to be

     

    There’s a boy who likes to dress in women’s clothing

    And he likes pretty boys to keep him company

    You might think it’s unnatural

    You say he’s going straight to Hell

    You say he oughta be what God intended

     

    Well maybe he just wants to be happy

    maybe he just wants to be free to love

    And maybe what God intended

    is exactly what you see

     

    There’s someone who’s tired of the office day-to-day

    She throws it all away to find tranquility

    You might think she’s given up

    You say she oughta suck it up

    She oughta do what everyone else does (work 9 to 5)

     

    Well maybe she just wants to be happy

    maybe she just wants to be free to dream

    And maybe this office cubicle

    wasn’t where she was meant to be

     

    I'm on my way... 

     

    Maybe we just wanna be happy

    Maybe we just wanna be free to live

    Maybe we just wanna be.

NOTES
This album contains six original songs written by Kirsten Hazler, arranged and performed by Haze & Dacey. It was recorded, mixed, and mastered by John Creger at Beavertraks Recording in Beaverdam, Virginia.